Christmas 9

Happy Christmas everyone.

I have been trying to get the killer shot today, which is Grandad playing Guitar Hero on the Nintendo Wii.

Christmas 8

I promised some pictures of the band at Goodison Park on Monday so here we are.

If Carlsberg did Christmas Carolling

Last night was my second to last engagement as bandmaster. We went to Goodison Park for the Everton v Chelsea premiership game to play in the executive lounges, before the game on the pitch during the pre-match warm-up and again at half-time on the pitch.

We got insulted by Duncan McKenzie in the Alex Young Suite (made my day). He introduced us as "Take That" (whoever they are and what brass instruments do they play?).

I saw him later when we were on the pitch - he recognised me and gave me a thumbs up sign.

I'll try and get some more pictures from Pete.

Howard (my brother) said if he got a chance he would trip up John Terry with his trombone, make it onto Sky Sport and onto MOTD 2. But he didn't have to, he got sent off before half time (John Terry not Howard).

Missed the incident as we where queuing up waiting to walk onto the pitch.

We all have blue gravel and pitch mud on our shoes, we are all refusing to clean them. My dad has already spread it around his carpet at home.

Christmas 7

Radio Merseyside tonight with a few guys from the band. They told us they needed us from 5.00pm so we all rushed from work to get there on time. Only to be told we would not be on from 6:50. Doh!

Almost there now, only two more caroling engagements a Sunday, then the Everton v Chelsea game on Monday night.

Oh and Christmas eve.

Christmas 6

Its been a busy few days for Liverpool Walton Salvation Army band. ITV telly on Friday, we did BBC last year (The Liverpool Nativity) it's ITV this year. The consensus of opinion amongst bandmen is that BBC look after you better, we had to fight for sandwiches and muffins with the techy guys with ITV. The BBC sorted us out with a cooked meal with celebs. It was cold, dark and a bit miserable, we only had one chance to get thing right even though it wasn't live telly, so we don't really now what it will come out like. I suspect it will sound a bit dodgy. Too cold.
Saturday morning was carolling in Liverpool City Centre. We spent the morning looking for sports stars as Sports Personality was filmed in the Echo Arena, I didn't see one. There was loads of Spanish people around who had come to see Liverpool FC draw with Hull.
Sunday was our "Civic" carol concert. Two performances, good day.

Christmas 5

Tonight we did the ITV recording at Alder Hey childrens hospital for Christmas Eve.

We are all very tired.

Christmas 4

I have spent this morning playing carols outside Morrisons at Ormskirk. I marvelled at the near misses in the car park and the long queues to get out.
Our morning was livened up when the security people chased a young man across the car park when he tried to leave with a full trolley of food without paying. The security guards gave a good chase and I thought they where going to catch him at one point, but he got away.

Note: Always pay for goods at Morrisons you could never beat the security guards to the car, load the car and queue up to leave before they caught up with you.

Christmas 3

Does anyone else irrationally dislike the colour of Des O'Connors jumper on the latest Tescos advert?

Christmas 2

The tat has begun its Christmas creep across our house.

Christmas 1

This is my cornet. We bought it more than 20 years ago now, and Heather reminds me that it almost bankrupt us when we bought it. Its a bit battered and bruised these days but its out of its box from today for Christmas playing.
I thought I would start Christmas blogs knowing that we have a busy schedule which includes several highlights:

• Telly on ITV Christmas Eve from Alder Hey Childrens hospital.
• BBC Radio Merseyside
• Before the Premiership match, Everton v Chelsea on the 22nd December
• A couple of Christmas Carol concerts.

But it has started today with Sainsburys Knotty Ash

American President

I was really impressed today with the speech given by Barack Obama, Americas new President elect. But, there is one thing I need to warn him about, and that is Bob the Builder.

"He can't sue him"

"YES HE CAN"

Pets 2

A couple of weeks ago I blogged about a colleague who keeps a few pets. Today she came into work a bit distraught. Apparently one of her dogs ate one of the chinchillas over the weekend.
At the moment, its circling the Axolotl with fur round its grinning, contented mouth, dreaming of desert.

Most embarassing

I was watching telly the other night, channel hopping as normal (I own the remote control). When I came across a programme, "Teenage Embarrassing Bodies" (Only for the brave). I must say at this point I am a bit squeamish when it comes to real blood and guts on telly. I can watch pretend stuff all day, but real blood makes me quake behind my 13inch Apple laptop screen.
Heather on the other hand does not seem to be squeamish at all, in fact she made me stay on the programme. I didn't watch, just heard the sound, which seem to go a bit like this:

Male teenager: I have a bit of a problem down there (pointing)
Doctor: Lets have a look then. Drop your trousers and sit up here.
Male teenager: OK (jumps on table and drops his shorts)
Kevin (Shouting at director): Cut away, cut away, Ohh do I need to see this (then hides behind laptop) Tell me when its finished.
Doctor: (Sharp intake of breath), Ooh that looks sore
Male teenager: Is that normal
Heather: Don't look yet
Doctor: How many partners have you had?
Kevin: Do we really need to know this? Can I look yet?
Heather: (shouting) NO!
Male teenager: (smiling) I quite active in that department, but no permanent partner. Just lots of different ones.

The programme went on in similar vein for an hour, I think, then repeated on C4+1. I wandered where the embarrasment was in this show. It certainly wasn't on any of the teenagers featured on the show as I don't think they would have volunteered to share there rashes and growths with the nation.

I was the one embarrassed hidden behind my laptop. Can I look yet.

Heroes

We are watching the new series of Heroes on Wednesday night. We have to watch each show twice, on BBC Two then on BBC Three before we can get what is going on.

Is this just us?

Pets

I work with some strange people. A colleague of mine was telling me how her chinchillas had eaten through the cable which supplied power to machine which provided oxygen to her fish. Who promptly died. She was upset by this because she was beginning to "bond" with her fish. I don't know what happened to the chinchillas, I presume they survived electrocution.


Rather than buying new fish she bought an Axolotl. Which looks like this.

I think you must admit its a strange looking thing. She insists that this creature gets excited when she comes into the room. I keep searching her face for some sort of irony but cannot see any at all.

I get appalled looks when I explain my first impressions of small animals is that I wander how far they would travel if I kicked them.

Annual appeal 4

Another nights collecting, and it finished early as most people seem to go out on Friday night (surprisingly). But I did find myself getting a bit up tight with a couple of people who live in very large houses out of sight from the main road. The first bloke surprised me when he came to the door as I was admiring his lovely Austin Martin DB7 car. He said he didn't do business at the door so I thanked him and left. The next guy at a bigger house came to the door with a napkin and he couldn't possibly give any money because he was eating dinner.
Hay Ho, never mind, nearly finished.

Annual appeal 3

Second day collecting and Ray and I are doing Long Lane. It is an interesting fact how Long Lane has got its name. It's not to do with it's width or even it's height but it's length, it is long. This has a special appeal to door to door collectors as not only is Long Lane long, but it is straight. So when we have finally finished collecting, we have to walk the long length of Long Lane back to the car.
Long lane starts with old houses populated mainly by professional people who get home late, who are not in when I call. And finishes with older retired people who won't open the door because it's too late.
At least the copper jar was given to me near the end of the evening so I didn't have too far to carry. And Gill drove down Long Lane to pick us up, happy days.

Annual appeal 2

Sadly (or not) collecting was canceled tonight. But that gave me the opportunity to play with my new iPod Touch. I shall update my blog from this device when I get to grips

Annual appeal 1

Here we are, third week of September, time for Salvation Army Annual Appeal. It's been our first night out collecting today. On the way round it seems traditional that I make up a blog entry. But I have struggled tonight, but Will has posted a motivational video on Youtube, check it out (Hi Ho, it's off to work we go).

I promise to think harder tomorrow.

Big Bang Day

Tomorrow is big bang day, so radio 4, on the bbc, is making it a feature. Tomorrow, we could know how everything works or we could blow everything up. If everything does disappear in a black hole tomorrow, there will be a lot of egg on faces at CERN.

I just hope before they turn the thing on they have built in the reverse polarity button or have designed a feature so they can fire a tachyon burst at the new black holes. (it always works in Star Trek)

London

We have been in London this week, staying with our lovely relatives (here). There are things I like and about London and things I dislike. I feel a list coming on:


Likes:
1. Museums and art galleries (we have been to most over the last few days)
2. Public transport is relatively cheap. (if you buy the special cards etc)
3. Its good to go on holiday to.
4. You're never far from a coffee shop
5. Surreptitious celeb. spotting (no pointing or shouting (no looking actually, you are only allowed one glance), I think I saw a few today but not too sure)

Dislikes:
1. Getting anywhere in a car is virtually impossible and or intensely annoying.
2. Once you get somewhere it is impossible to park your car.
3. Sometimes there are too many people on the pavements. It is difficult for them to walk down the road without bumping into you.
4. Everybody apart from me seems to know where they are going.
5. Buses and bus drivers.
6. Everyone in the free newspapers seems to be moaning about Boris, (they voted for him, so shut up)

Olympics II

I enjoy watching sports that I haven't seen before. I watched a swimming competition with the sound turned down on the telly, so I guessed the rules.

30 swimmers meet at the starting line. They decide on who is "it", probably by "dibbing" ("One potato, two potato, three potato more..." etc). Then the all dive in the water, swim for two hours and chase the guy who is "it" and try to pull his swimming costume off or kick him in the face.


The guy who is "it" (who seemed to be British) tries to shake them off by swimming in the wrong direction. Anyway, the British guy got kicked etc, but didn't lose his costume so he got silver medal... result.

Ikea again!!!

As I have been on holiday I have been painting Matthews bedroom. Which of course means that his existing furniture looks tatty as soon as it is moved. We decided to help him improve his toy storage system which seems to be covering every bit of space on the floor.

I went to Ikea with the full intention of enjoying the experience. In fact we had tea there and it was quite pleasant although they seemed to have turned the air conditioning to create Arctic conditions presumably to encourage customers to eat up and go and spend money on worthless/useless tat.

Working through Ikea with Heather reminds me of my favourite scene in Bugs live trailer.

Insect one "Don't look at the light"

Insect two (heading towards blue insectocutor light) "I can't help it, it's soooo beautiful"

I took a firm hand last night. She had to hold my hand or the trolly I was pushing. It was a close call when we walked through the smelly expensive candle section, but she stayed away from the blue light.

We picked our furniture and went to collect it from the "warehouse". They have obviously spend a fortune on computer equipment which tracks where each frame and shelve are. Only to be let down by staff who seem to put the stock wherever they want to. We spent a good twenty minutes looking for something called a Trofast which turned out to be with the chairs or Hedvka (as they say in Ikealand).

Yet again I found my temper fraying.

Olympics I

I have been quite taken by the Olympics in Beijing. I'm on holiday now for three weeks and so will be able to watch the last week of games. Just two things that have caused me concern:

Has anybody else noticed that the BBC music sounds a bit like the old cockney favourite "My Ole Man" (The where he is dillying and dallying not when he is a dustman)

Sport scientists, since Usain Bolt won the 100m at what appeared a dawdle, have now decided that the ideal size of sprinter is over six foot. For those people over six foot, this is now an big disappointment. At school we have traditionally been given the discus and the high jump to compete at. Who knows what the world record would be if tall guys had competed.

Perhaps I shouldn't have started ...

I don't know if any of you have been in this situation.

Scene: Kitchen, teatime. Alistair (son), Heather (wife) and myself present.

My friend Jason rang Alistair today, and Alistair has been relaying the conversation to Heather and I. Jason studied near Liverpool and we playing in the SA Band together for a couple of years.

Heather: It's good to here from Jason.

Kevin: Yes, I remember when we used to play Christmas Carols in Church Street. We used to place ourselves opposite Miss Selfridge so we could (trailing off as he realizes where this is going)

Heather: Perhaps you shouldn't have started that sentence ...

SuperLambBanana day

Saturday was SuperLambBanana day. Jeanette, Glyn, Heather, Jim, me and 4 small children went on a tour of Liverpool which included catching all the SuperLambBananas in the centre of Liverpool and a history man to give us interesting information.

Here are some pictures:















Matthew decided to kiss every LambBanana he met.
















The smartest looking LambBanana





















The people of Liverpool where so impressed with Ringo Starr's contribution to the launching the Capital of Culture year, they had him painted yellow, stuffed and mounted in front of the Beatles museum at the Albert Dock.




















Despite being married for nearly 23 years Heather and I are still being stalked by her Dad.

I know what he does during the year!

Heather and I have decided to "redo" our living room, decorate, carpets etc. With this in mind we went to B&Q, Homebase etc to look at new fireplaces. There was plenty of choice bit nobody who could really help and advise us. So we went to a small shop in Birkdale, Southport which just sells Fireplaces called "Blazes".

We walked into the shop and had a look round. A small man with a beard sat at a desk asked if he could help. So we explained that we where looking at changing our fireplace.

"Where do you live?" he asked

"Ormskirk" we replied

"Where abouts in Ormskirk"

"On the corner of Burscough Street and County Road"

"Oh yes I know the type of house"

He then went on to describe the type of flue that we possess and a pretty accurate description of our fireplace. He then on to tell us what we had to do to get a modern looking fireplace.

We where very impressed.

But after telling Jason, at work, about this man we have to ask the following questions. Who knows a lot about fireplaces? When I walked into the shop was there a slight whiff of reindeer droppings? (how do I know what reindeer droppings smell like) Did he laugh with a bit of a Ho Ho Ho!?

I bet its him!!!

New Christians

I have just got back from a tea at our church/corps for new Christians. We all had a fabulous evening (thanks Val for the great gammon). I think the hope was that new people to our church would recognise us as ordinary people. Heather and I will be running a Journeys course on Friday evening from next week, so we need to plan for that.

The next time I will meet some of these people will be on Sunday when I will be wearing my uniform. I spent some time explaining that will be the same person even though I will be look odd.

MacBook

Well I have finally left the Microsoft family and bought a Macbook. This is my first post on my lovely new Macbook. Does it look any different?

Sorry about your weight

I may have blogged about this before, but I enjoy listening out for corporate speak. McDonalds are typical. Before they had a partnership with Coke, they had their own cola drink. It was obviously policy for all the restaurant staff to correct customers if they asked for a Coke to say "McDonalds Cola?". I would always pause and say "Oh I'll have an orange, please" (Ha Ha).

It now seems policy for staff to say "Sorry about your wait" when the food is more than a couple of minutes in coming. There are several things about this quote, firstly the staff delivery the line with as much feeling as "Can help you" in the first place. So they are obviously not sorry themselves. As it seems to be customer policy to apologize for the food to take some time, perhaps it McDonalds corporate who are showing sorrow. Now we all know this isn't possible, so perhaps they think we will all think McDonalds is a wonderful company if they staff show remorse for late cold food and we will all spend more money there.

So I have decided they they are not apologising for the late food but for selling fattening food, hence "Sorry about your weight". I have decided to join Heather on her diet, thus spending less time in McDonalds more time eating vegetables.

Having said all this we had breakfast there last Saturday.

Roots 08 weekend II

Having been on the Roots "behind the scenes" team now for a number of years, I notice a trait within the people who work there. This trait is their single mindedness to achieve the mission of the event, to provide an event which inspires and equips the Salvation Army for spiritual renewal. Everyone works towards this aim.

I want this for my home church/corps in Liverpool. This weekend our songsters are going to Cardiff to sing in their corps, I hope that they recognise a single mindedness in us this weekend, to sing praises to the Lord and to glimpse him through us.

Grandma 1906 -2008

My Grandma died last week. But it was a happy event for our family. She was 101 and was ready to go to heaven.

About 1906
Roosevelt was the American President
The Prime Minister was Henry Campbell-Bannerman (In fact he was the first Prime Minister)
Sadly Liverpool won the first division title
More happily Everton won the FA Cup
The first radio broadcast in 1906
Cornflakes where invented in 1906

Of course the main world event of 1906 was the San Fancisco earthquake.

Grandma was 6 when the First World War started
She was 33 when the Second World War started

Grandma left school and went to work in the cotton mills of Burnley when she was only young.

She went to the Salvation Army Training College, her flag was removed from the main assembly hall recently to make way for newer flags.

There is a small book that she wrote with the help of my mum, of her life which is really interesting.

Grandma shared her birth and death year with Albert Hofman, the man who invented LSD??!!

Roots 08 weekend I

Well, Roots 08 has been and gone. And I sit here thinking about all the work that went in, and all the new people I met and the worry etc. (I have run the stewarding team (with Heather) for the last four years). We had more than 70 stewards this year which manned 8 different locations with 21 different time slots more than 650 stewarding events.

I can't think what my highlight was. Overall I think it was a relieve that everything went OK and people where kept save. The Big Top didn't burn down. Nobody pinched half of the resource zone. Everyone worked really hard to make sure it was a success.

I took Tuesday off on holiday and normally I would go back to Southport and see the Big Top in different states of decommissioning. This year I didn't because it was Grandmas funeral at our Salvation Army. We had a good band and almost a full Songsters. A lot of my family came down from Aberdeen to the funeral and it was really great to see them. I wish we could have spent longer together as I have not seen them for some time and some I have not met at all yet.

I must get to Aberdeen soon.

I'll post some pictures when I get them.

Trying not to be bitter

Alistair has just taken delivery of his new Macbook. I'm trying not to be too bitter, but I am writing this post on his shiny white new laptop and I am very impressed with the equipment (the keyboard, although it looks fragile, is firm and reassuring, the screen is bright and very clear.) and the operating system (It does loads of really cool stuff). 

I am now saving up...

Alistairs birthday

Alistair is 18 on Friday. We had a surprisen birthday party for him on Saturday night. He really had no idea, he was totally surprised. Despite following one of his friends from school into the Salvation Army car park!!?? Heather and I both took Friday off to prepare food and get the place in shape. All his cousins, uncles and aunties where there and Deb and Will came from London.

I'll post the picturs on my new Flickr account.

I like this ... Ubuntu

I have been increasing getting fed up with Windows products. So when a PC at home required a rebuild, I have installed Ubuntu Linux. It comes with all sorts of software (including Open Office, same as Microsoft office but free), it looks great and is really easy to use.

I would highly recommend.

The Apprentice

A new series of Apprentice has just started on BBC 1. All the relevant stereotypes that have done the series proud over the past few series seem to be present.

Eye Candy for the boys
Eye Candy for the girls
Pompous idiots abound
Upper class idiot
Ex Barrow boy
Piece of rough for both sexes

All with "made up" job titles. (Global Pricing Leader?)

I like these .... Biscuits

Heather reckons these are the best biscuits in the world

Marks and Spencer Viennese biscuit Selection

I agree. We have almost eaten all of them tonight.

Getting around Ikea

On Saturday we went to Warrington Ikea. So I have devised the following rules for getting around.
Rule 1. Go around with friends. Make sure you take friends with you to Ikea, You can then focus on taking the mickey out of Ikea with friends rather than just Heather (Because she has heard all of your jokes, although she still laughs politely).

Rule 2. Don't even try to use the shortcuts (the store have installed "men short cuts" which bypass part of the store.) You will get to the end of the store and realise you haven't been to all parts. So you will need to back track and find the bits you have missed.

Rule 3. My friend at work tells me that you need to look out for women in the car park crying. Apparently there are lots, they are crying because they have had a row about what they haven't bought or because they can't get what they have bought into the car.

Rule 4. Always walk slightly ahead of the group you are with. It adds an element of urgency to the expedition.

Rule 5. Never let your guard down. Even towards the end of the store, when you get to the check out, there are items which seem you can't live without. But when you get them home, you will a) wonder what they are for b) Have already bought six and forgotten about c) They will have broken before you get them into the house from the car.

Rule 6. Don't go with kids. You will never get them out of kids bedrooms.

Rule 7. Go just before lunch, so you can spend most of your time in the cafe.

Thanks to Glyn and Jeanette for the inspiration and for the good time on Saturday

I like this .... Design

I have just seen this guy on telly and his stuff looks great

Marc Newson

Hair

We were discussing going to the barbers the other day. I know it's so different when ladies go to the hairdressers, its much more of a social event (they have cups of coffee and everything). There are fewer choices when I go and get my hair cut.

They always ask "What do you want?". They may think I am taking the mickey if I say something like "Can you cut it shorter". I always remember the barber here has so much power, hair grows extremely slowly and they don't seem to be short of customers. So I don't feel in a position of strength, to make some sort of Smart Alec comment. So I always fall back on "Can you tidy it up, please". Which I suppose means "Can you cut it shorter".

But there comes the time when they do give you a choice. And that is "Square or tapered?" Now for a time, I was not always sure what is meant here. So I always said "Square". I have recently changed to "Tapered, please" and I can't tell the difference. So I am thinking perhaps I should ask for tapered on one side and square on the other, but Neil thinks people will look at me strangely.

Perhaps I should go for the more female approach and when the barber asks "What do you want?" give him a picture of Tom Cruise and say "Make me look like him". I bet you will be able to hear the laughter across West Lancs. So it will be "Can you tidy it up please."

Today

It takes 365 and just less than a quarter days for the earth to move back to the same position relatively to the sun. Because of the quarter day, every four years we have a leap day to make sure that the seasons stay in the same place in relation to the year.

This is because the rotation on its own axis is not relational to its rotation around the sun. So it actually turns on its own axis 365.2422 each year.

If the year can be divided by 100 then we do not have a leap day, but if it can be divided by 400 we do have one.

Apparently, we have leap seconds on December 31st. This means we get an extra beep on Radio 4 at midnight.

Hope that clears that up then.

DFL

I had the pleasure of being a facilitator at the Army's Design for Life weekend again this weekend. Based on my last experience, in Scotland, I booked the following Monday (today) on holiday to recover.

I left on Friday morning and arrived at Sunbury Court at 3:20. When I got of the train at Sunbury station I wasn't sure what direction to go in, so I phoned Ray for the address and walked to the local library to find a map. The walk takes you past London Irish Rugby ground and some fairly grand suburban houses. During the 25 minutes walk I did wander if DFL was indeed at Sunbury Court and had visions of a late night dash across London to Denmark Hill which is the other venue used near London. When I got there I couldn't find anybody. I was able to get into the building but not a soul was to be found. Eventually I saw a note on one of doors which said "Kevin's Room", I was relieved.

I made many new friends and renewed friends with someone I had not met for many years. I think everybody agreed it was a fantastic weekend and many people made decisions about their futures.

I left for home at 3:10 on Sunday and arrived home at 9:15.

I may blog some more about the weekend when I have considered everything that went on.

A first time

I am on a e-learner course in Liverpool. As part of the course we have been "introduced" to web 2.0. So this is the first time I have been encouraged as part of my work to post in a blog. I haven't mentioned that this blog has been going now for almost two years.

Firefox

For those of you who use Firefox and Internet Explorer as a browser, Will has introduced me to a marvelous add-in. Its called PicTel. It works with Facebook, Flickr, google images and a few other sites to give a 3d environment to view your pictures.

Give it a go it looks fabulous, and easy to use.

Things we don't have any more

Another list of things we don't have anymore. Alistair and I compiled this list on the way home tonight with my mum and dad.
1. Cars which back fire
2. Any type of computer floppy disk (5 1/4 or 3 1/2 inch or bigger)
3. Casual racism (from the under 50s)
4. Common sense, we now have health and safety rules.
5. Frost on the inside of bedroom windows when you get out of bed.
6. Big prams
7. Independent shops
8. Zebra crossings
9. Slide-rules
10. Logarithms
11. Corporal punishment in schools (at college we now concentrate on pschological abuse:))
12. ITV Childrens programmes

Matthew

Matthew's views are influenced by telly and games:

He wants to work in a nuclear power plant, because he likes the food. He likes doughnuts just like Homer Simpson.

He said in the car today that if cats could talk they would all have Spanish accents. Just like Puss in Boots in Shrek.

So there it went ... Merry Christmas

My Christmas highlights
1. Liverpool Nativity.
Loads of rehearsals for just a few seconds on telly. But, what I enjoyed was the experience of getting the show together. We spent a long time down at the new Liverpool Liner Terminal and got to know some of the production crew quite well. Doing "live" telly was exciting, especially just as the Ferry came into dock, some water washed over the landing stage and immediately froze (it was very cold, probably about -3). We did our live performance on a bid of an ice rink.

2. Carolling at the hall.
We did a lot of carolling mostly in Liverpool or in different supermarkets. But carolling round the hall to invite people for coffee and mince pies was good. And a load of people came back to the church.

3. Christmas night in with Will, Deb and Friends
Enough said.

4. Doctor Who on Christmas Day
Laughing at the Queen in her rollers.

5. New Years Eve Party
Loads of people at our house, including Howard, Helen and the girls. Peter and Howard got far to competitive at the quiz.

6. Neils enrolment as a adherent
Enough said

7. Playing on Murrays Wii with Heather and the boys.