Thursday, August 28, 2008


We have been in London this week, staying with our lovely relatives (here). There are things I like and about London and things I dislike. I feel a list coming on:

1. Museums and art galleries (we have been to most over the last few days)
2. Public transport is relatively cheap. (if you buy the special cards etc)
3. Its good to go on holiday to.
4. You're never far from a coffee shop
5. Surreptitious celeb. spotting (no pointing or shouting (no looking actually, you are only allowed one glance), I think I saw a few today but not too sure)

1. Getting anywhere in a car is virtually impossible and or intensely annoying.
2. Once you get somewhere it is impossible to park your car.
3. Sometimes there are too many people on the pavements. It is difficult for them to walk down the road without bumping into you.
4. Everybody apart from me seems to know where they are going.
5. Buses and bus drivers.
6. Everyone in the free newspapers seems to be moaning about Boris, (they voted for him, so shut up)

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Olympics II

I enjoy watching sports that I haven't seen before. I watched a swimming competition with the sound turned down on the telly, so I guessed the rules.

30 swimmers meet at the starting line. They decide on who is "it", probably by "dibbing" ("One potato, two potato, three potato more..." etc). Then the all dive in the water, swim for two hours and chase the guy who is "it" and try to pull his swimming costume off or kick him in the face.

The guy who is "it" (who seemed to be British) tries to shake them off by swimming in the wrong direction. Anyway, the British guy got kicked etc, but didn't lose his costume so he got silver medal... result.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Ikea again!!!

As I have been on holiday I have been painting Matthews bedroom. Which of course means that his existing furniture looks tatty as soon as it is moved. We decided to help him improve his toy storage system which seems to be covering every bit of space on the floor.

I went to Ikea with the full intention of enjoying the experience. In fact we had tea there and it was quite pleasant although they seemed to have turned the air conditioning to create Arctic conditions presumably to encourage customers to eat up and go and spend money on worthless/useless tat.

Working through Ikea with Heather reminds me of my favourite scene in Bugs live trailer.

Insect one "Don't look at the light"

Insect two (heading towards blue insectocutor light) "I can't help it, it's soooo beautiful"

I took a firm hand last night. She had to hold my hand or the trolly I was pushing. It was a close call when we walked through the smelly expensive candle section, but she stayed away from the blue light.

We picked our furniture and went to collect it from the "warehouse". They have obviously spend a fortune on computer equipment which tracks where each frame and shelve are. Only to be let down by staff who seem to put the stock wherever they want to. We spent a good twenty minutes looking for something called a Trofast which turned out to be with the chairs or Hedvka (as they say in Ikealand).

Yet again I found my temper fraying.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Olympics I

I have been quite taken by the Olympics in Beijing. I'm on holiday now for three weeks and so will be able to watch the last week of games. Just two things that have caused me concern:

Has anybody else noticed that the BBC music sounds a bit like the old cockney favourite "My Ole Man" (The where he is dillying and dallying not when he is a dustman)

Sport scientists, since Usain Bolt won the 100m at what appeared a dawdle, have now decided that the ideal size of sprinter is over six foot. For those people over six foot, this is now an big disappointment. At school we have traditionally been given the discus and the high jump to compete at. Who knows what the world record would be if tall guys had competed.

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Perhaps I shouldn't have started ...

I don't know if any of you have been in this situation.

Scene: Kitchen, teatime. Alistair (son), Heather (wife) and myself present.

My friend Jason rang Alistair today, and Alistair has been relaying the conversation to Heather and I. Jason studied near Liverpool and we playing in the SA Band together for a couple of years.

Heather: It's good to here from Jason.

Kevin: Yes, I remember when we used to play Christmas Carols in Church Street. We used to place ourselves opposite Miss Selfridge so we could (trailing off as he realizes where this is going)

Heather: Perhaps you shouldn't have started that sentence ...