I must admit I hear loads of excuses during the day from learners, why they haven't been there, why they haven't done that. But last week someone told me they weren't in college because they had been to the hospital and they had been told that they where missing two Vertebrae in their back.
Now I have checked this with my doctor mate this morning. And we reckon:
We should be able to carry him around in a bucket.
Or a scientific specimen jar for closer examination
I know what North West Gas contractors got for Christmas. Portable Traffic lights. It seems they have been given them and they are determined to use them. There is small road works on the out of Ormskirk and they are using their new toys. It must put 10 minutes on my journey to work in the morning. (Grumpy old man)
Digital television is marvelous. Don't let anybody tell you that they are struggling to fill the schedules. There was a triumph on the Discovery Channel last night. The channel is scrambled on our telly but I would definetly watch "Sex Change Operations Uncut".
Normally, I hide behind the sofa when any real blood and guts is on telly. Heather has to tell me when its safe to look. Doing a Sex Change Operation without cutting, sounds like a great idea. In our house it was suggested that the scalpel must be replaced by size 10 boots.
If I was the director I would be tempted to add comic sound effects as well.
Yesterday I bought Heather a Valentines day card. I knew she was not home late so I chose one from the shop yesterday. When I gave Heather the card she noticed hit had a picture of a elephant on the front.
"So you think I look like a cute elephant?"
I said "I don't think your cute", it came out before I could think about it.
"Any way how do you know its from me?". You know you have lost when you resort to this line.
I thought I had done really well going into town to buy a card and spending seconds choosing it.
.. is my 45 birthday, had a good day. Sadly, Heather is on the way back from London so I will not see her until tonight. Got up late. Had breakfast. Realised I left phone at Army Hall last night. Realised I needed to tidy house before Heather comes home. Spoke to Heather on the phone. Apparently, Matthew has been sick in London so Heather hasn't had much sleep. Opened Birthday cards. Didn't get any Valentine cards :(. Never mind Went to town, bought stuff. Got hair cut. Had to wait ages - half term, loads of kids. Went to gym. Didn't have too long so went for swim. Had lunch at Gym Thought about what to spend my birthday money on. Went to PCWorld Met Gemma at Hall for CAP work. Picked up phone. Did CAP work with Gemma. Drove back to Ormskirk. Picked up Matthews new glasses. Had cup of coffee in Ormskirk. Thought avout what to spend my birthday money on. Went to Currys Went home Almost passed out - Alistair has tidied up, house looks OK. Watched a bit of football on telly Alistair makes fab tea with birthday cake and everything (apart from singing, he refused) Watched a bit of what is probably the worst telly programme of all time "Relic Hunter". Will & Deb not going to Corps Council (I will have to be stroppy for them too:) ) I am now going to Army for Corps Council. See Heather later.
When I asked my Grandma how old she was, she would always say the same thing. I not sure what the first bit was, but it went something like "I'm as old as my hair and a little bit older than my teeth". Well I know that Grandma is over 100 now and she still has her hair, I don't think she has had her own teeth for some time now, and I lost a valuable tooth yesterday at the dentist.
I am eating noodles and pasta for the time being. When the dentist was taking it out it felt like my eyes where coming out as well. But she gave me the tooth in a small envelope with the tooth fairy on and it looks relatively small. Especially considering the pain and inconvenience it has caused over the last few months (It broke on Christmas Day).
I'm in mourning for the tooth, we have been through a lot together, it is well known to Geoff (my old dentist and friend), who has spent many hours xraying, root filling, poking and prodding it. Now it in a tooth fairy envelope and redundant.
I'm 45 in two weeks ("never" I hear you say) and I hoping that no other bits of me get left behind.