I like this ... Ubuntu

I have been increasing getting fed up with Windows products. So when a PC at home required a rebuild, I have installed Ubuntu Linux. It comes with all sorts of software (including Open Office, same as Microsoft office but free), it looks great and is really easy to use.

I would highly recommend.

The Apprentice

A new series of Apprentice has just started on BBC 1. All the relevant stereotypes that have done the series proud over the past few series seem to be present.

Eye Candy for the boys
Eye Candy for the girls
Pompous idiots abound
Upper class idiot
Ex Barrow boy
Piece of rough for both sexes

All with "made up" job titles. (Global Pricing Leader?)

I like these .... Biscuits

Heather reckons these are the best biscuits in the world

Marks and Spencer Viennese biscuit Selection

I agree. We have almost eaten all of them tonight.

Getting around Ikea

On Saturday we went to Warrington Ikea. So I have devised the following rules for getting around.
Rule 1. Go around with friends. Make sure you take friends with you to Ikea, You can then focus on taking the mickey out of Ikea with friends rather than just Heather (Because she has heard all of your jokes, although she still laughs politely).

Rule 2. Don't even try to use the shortcuts (the store have installed "men short cuts" which bypass part of the store.) You will get to the end of the store and realise you haven't been to all parts. So you will need to back track and find the bits you have missed.

Rule 3. My friend at work tells me that you need to look out for women in the car park crying. Apparently there are lots, they are crying because they have had a row about what they haven't bought or because they can't get what they have bought into the car.

Rule 4. Always walk slightly ahead of the group you are with. It adds an element of urgency to the expedition.

Rule 5. Never let your guard down. Even towards the end of the store, when you get to the check out, there are items which seem you can't live without. But when you get them home, you will a) wonder what they are for b) Have already bought six and forgotten about c) They will have broken before you get them into the house from the car.

Rule 6. Don't go with kids. You will never get them out of kids bedrooms.

Rule 7. Go just before lunch, so you can spend most of your time in the cafe.

Thanks to Glyn and Jeanette for the inspiration and for the good time on Saturday

I like this .... Design

I have just seen this guy on telly and his stuff looks great

Marc Newson

Hair

We were discussing going to the barbers the other day. I know it's so different when ladies go to the hairdressers, its much more of a social event (they have cups of coffee and everything). There are fewer choices when I go and get my hair cut.

They always ask "What do you want?". They may think I am taking the mickey if I say something like "Can you cut it shorter". I always remember the barber here has so much power, hair grows extremely slowly and they don't seem to be short of customers. So I don't feel in a position of strength, to make some sort of Smart Alec comment. So I always fall back on "Can you tidy it up, please". Which I suppose means "Can you cut it shorter".

But there comes the time when they do give you a choice. And that is "Square or tapered?" Now for a time, I was not always sure what is meant here. So I always said "Square". I have recently changed to "Tapered, please" and I can't tell the difference. So I am thinking perhaps I should ask for tapered on one side and square on the other, but Neil thinks people will look at me strangely.

Perhaps I should go for the more female approach and when the barber asks "What do you want?" give him a picture of Tom Cruise and say "Make me look like him". I bet you will be able to hear the laughter across West Lancs. So it will be "Can you tidy it up please."