I went shopping with Will and well ..

I've got a new iPod Video (It is a very cool thing). We went to the Apple shop in London and looked at all the shiny things. We thought of buying everything in the shop, fortunately Debbie was there and common sense prevailed.

Will tried to drop me in it before I could tell Heather, by sending her a picture of me and the iPod before I could ring her; but my telephone call just beat his picture text to her phone.

As I don't have broadband at home at the moment (hmmmmm!!!), I downloaded some games and a video, to test it out whilst I was at my brother-in-laws house.

Which reminds me, when we got to Hamishs house; Heather and I both dived for the computers to look at our emails and read blogs which we have not been able to do for a few weeks. Possibly ignoring relatives living there that we both hadn't seen for a few months.

Do we have a problem?

It's freezing today..

and I have to go outside and work.

Its seems my contribution to stopping global warming is kicking.

• I have one person committed to seeing An Inconvenient Truth
• Will has given me some low energy light bulbs that I need to install (It's the thought that counts)
• I occasionally remember to turn off the telly when going to bed
• We don't light up Ormskirk with our upstairs lights when we go out
• We go to bed early now (this is probably because the internet is down in our house though)

Oh no! The internet is down.

Lured by the cheaper price and bigger bandwidth offered by Virginmedia, we have migrated our broadband. But before BT could do the business, NTL have cut us off. All sorts of things are happening:

• Al has been outside the house and had his hair cut. (probably thought he could get wireless access at the hairdressers.)
• Heather is coming to bed before 1:00am.
• Dr Bill will be able to beat me up in Torncity soon.
• Matthew can't play on the CBBC site.
• I can't watch a film on telly with imdb.com looking for the mistakes. (doesn't everyone do that?)
• We won't be able to use it a bible fellowship tonight when we ask Biblegateway to read the passage from Daniel to us.

I have pleaded with Virginmedia several times now, but they don't seem to understand how important it is. Apparently somebody at BT will decide to get round to it as soon as their tea break finishes.

Disappointing the B & Q boys

Our new kitchen arrived this week I took Thursday off work because Heather was away in York for a couple of days. Alistair and I had a happy hour matching the parts delivered to the delivery note.

We had some of the delivery a couple of weeks ago on a Saturday morning and Heather answered the door in her pyjamas. Heather asked me to check and sign the note on this occasion because the delivery bloke was obviously having difficulty keeping his mind (or eyes) on his work.

I did expect a posse of delivery men on Thursday, but only two arrived to move the new kitchen into the newly cleared out garage (four trips to the tip!!).

(couldn't think of an image for this post?!)

The Great Global Warming Swindle

I watched a programme on Channel 4 called the Great Global Warming Swindle. I felt a bit uncomfortable watching it, I must admit. You can see links from this blog to Al Gores "An Inconvenient Truth". I have been trying to think why the programme made me feel uncomfortable and I am not entirely sure.

What was the purpose of the programme? Was it to encourage us to keep on using the resources that are available to us? Is it OK now to keep my telly on overnight? Does it want us to not be careful about the world we live in? It's a fact that we in the "west" can afford to use less. So even if the science argued by AIT is in doubt, what is wrong with encouraging less consumption (big cars, turning off tellys, using different light bulbs)

My mate Ray ....

... has been done for speeding. I don't know why this is funny.

Perhaps its because:

• He is the Corps Sergeant Major and they shouldn't do bad things (it's going in the corps newsletter)
• Nobody at the corps (church) or his family are going to let him forget it (especially Simmo, he's a bobby)
• He is showing off that his Skoda goes that fast

Excuses

I must admit I hear loads of excuses during the day from learners, why they haven't been there, why they haven't done that. But last week someone told me they weren't in college because they had been to the hospital and they had been told that they where missing two Vertebrae in their back.

Now I have checked this with my doctor mate this morning. And we reckon:

• We should be able to carry him around in a bucket.
• Or a scientific specimen jar for closer examination
• He should be in the circus
• Or perhaps he telling me fibs.

Moan and Laugh

I know what North West Gas contractors got for Christmas. Portable Traffic lights. It seems they have been given them and they are determined to use them. There is small road works on the out of Ormskirk and they are using their new toys. It must put 10 minutes on my journey to work in the morning. (Grumpy old man)

Digital television is marvelous. Don't let anybody tell you that they are struggling to fill the schedules. There was a triumph on the Discovery Channel last night. The channel is scrambled on our telly but I would definetly watch "Sex Change Operations Uncut".

Normally, I hide behind the sofa when any real blood and guts is on telly. Heather has to tell me when its safe to look. Doing a Sex Change Operation without cutting, sounds like a great idea. In our house it was suggested that the scalpel must be replaced by size 10 boots.

If I was the director I would be tempted to add comic sound effects as well.

Valentines day

Yesterday I bought Heather a Valentines day card. I knew she was not home late so I chose one from the shop yesterday. When I gave Heather the card she noticed hit had a picture of a elephant on the front.

"So you think I look like a cute elephant?"

I said "I don't think your cute", it came out before I could think about it.

"Any way how do you know its from me?". You know you have lost when you resort to this line.

I thought I had done really well going into town to buy a card and spending seconds choosing it.

Today..

.. is my 45 birthday, had a good day.
Sadly, Heather is on the way back from London so I will not see her until tonight.
Got up late.
Had breakfast.
Realised I left phone at Army Hall last night.
Realised I needed to tidy house before Heather comes home.
Spoke to Heather on the phone. Apparently, Matthew has been sick in London so Heather hasn't had much sleep.
Opened Birthday cards. Didn't get any Valentine cards :(. Never mind
Went to town, bought stuff. Got hair cut. Had to wait ages - half term, loads of kids.
Went to gym. Didn't have too long so went for swim.
Had lunch at Gym
Thought about what to spend my birthday money on.
Went to PCWorld
Met Gemma at Hall for CAP work. Picked up phone.
Did CAP work with Gemma.
Drove back to Ormskirk. Picked up Matthews new glasses. Had cup of coffee in Ormskirk.
Thought avout what to spend my birthday money on.
Went to Currys
Went home
Almost passed out - Alistair has tidied up, house looks OK.
Watched a bit of football on telly
Alistair makes fab tea with birthday cake and everything (apart from singing, he refused)
Watched a bit of what is probably the worst telly programme of all time "Relic Hunter".
Will & Deb not going to Corps Council (I will have to be stroppy for them too:) )
I am now going to Army for Corps Council.
See Heather later.

New picture of Sarah

Here is a new picture of Sarah. This was taken last Friday at our house. She is sitting on Lynseys knee (I think).

A little bit older than my teeth

When I asked my Grandma how old she was, she would always say the same thing. I not sure what the first bit was, but it went something like "I'm as old as my hair and a little bit older than my teeth". Well I know that Grandma is over 100 now and she still has her hair, I don't think she has had her own teeth for some time now, and I lost a valuable tooth yesterday at the dentist.

I am eating noodles and pasta for the time being. When the dentist was taking it out it felt like my eyes where coming out as well. But she gave me the tooth in a small envelope with the tooth fairy on and it looks relatively small. Especially considering the pain and inconvenience it has caused over the last few months (It broke on Christmas Day).

I'm in mourning for the tooth, we have been through a lot together, it is well known to Geoff (my old dentist and friend), who has spent many hours xraying, root filling, poking and prodding it. Now it in a tooth fairy envelope and redundant.

I'm 45 in two weeks ("never" I hear you say) and I hoping that no other bits of me get left behind.

Popular Cultural Reference #2 - ITV Play

I heard today on the radio that ITV Play have been "told off" by Oftel, because there questions are too obscure. Apparently, the top answer to the question "What is found in a womans handbag?" is rawl plugs. Another on the list is a balaclava.



I wouldn't be surprised to see rawl plugs in Heathers handbag, but I would be surprised to see a balaclava. Although, if you have a look and see the type of thing she was wearing when she was small ....



... and balaclavas are very practical. They keep your head AND your ears warm (and are handy in a jewelry theft).

We've hit the big time now lads

The star of such classics as Judge Dredd, Tango and Cash, Stop or My Mom Will Shoot, Cliff Hanger, The Specialist, Demolition Man etc is fan of Everton Soccer Club.

(Oh, and Escape to Victory)

I'm so proud.

Fashion absolution

Having been born in 1962. Had my teenage years mainly in the 70s, I feel qualified to offer the following service:

Do you want to confess your worst fashion sin. Of course this may have been in simpler times but you need to confess now, you know you want to.

Post them here and I will deal with your problems.

Beware there may be penance to be paid.

Popular Cultural References #1 - Jade Goodie

During the current series of Celebrity Big Brother, I have come to realise, its not her fault, I now feel sorry for her....

....Now I see her mother.

Christmas Carolling

Warning: The following post contains Sally Army references which may confuse.

I did add up the number of Christmas Carols played in December but I am not sure if it is accurate. I think it is around 400 to 500. I know most of the carols now so my mind tends to wander whilst I am playing them. Here are some of the games I play.

1. Looking out for celebrity shoppers. This is very difficult in Liverpool, especially as I don't or have never watched any of the local soaps (Hollyoaks - Chester, The one in South Liverpool that has finished now, can't remember what it was called). So even if one of the actors came over and started to conduct the band, I wouldn't have a clue who it was. And some of the more well known Liverpool celebrities wouldn't now be seen dead in Liverpool in December (certainly not in Asda or Tescos), Cilla Black, Jimmy Tarbuck etc. Now I have seen Ken Dodd but not whilst Carolling, he was buying a SCART cable from Richer Sounds and I also saw him buying a book in Waterstones. I have although seen Alexei Sayle in Sainsburys Woolton with his mum. And various Everton and Liverpool footballers.

2. When carolling in a supermarket, I watch people leaving the store and try and guess what car they have. I always get this wrong.

3. When carolling in Liverpool City Centre there is amusement to be had watching illegal traders evading the police.

4. Picking carols at the bottom of the page to make our bass players grumpy.

5. Dodging shopping trolleys driven by older people. I got hit twice in 10 minutes on one Saturday morning.

6. Looking out for bargains in Sainsburys on the last Saturday before Christmas. Last year Simon and I bought sprouts for 10p. In fact I think I owe Simon 10p because I didn't have any money in my coat pocket.

A couple of Christmasses ago we where asked to call into the local radio station to play on the Billy Butler show on Saturday morning. We all trooped into the studio and played Away in a Manger and Silent Night. Billy was so taken by this, he decided to include the band in his quiz for the day. So Billy said to the band on air, "I know let's give these fellas an 'orse".

I looked at Ray (who was at the time PR officer at DHQ) quizically. What's a norse. Then the penny dropped he wanted us to select a horse in a race for him to back. He was showing us a list. Ray started to splutter "Ah, well you see we can't ....", but I chipped in with "Let's have that one" and Billy said "OK". So our band backed a horse on "live" local radio.

I think Ray was thinking of the questions from the DC on Monday morning on the way to carolling. The rest of the band where laughing too much, of course non of us where employed by the Army.

The horse came in second, but we didn't see any winnings.

Of course gambling is a bad thing and I regret .......

An Inconvenient Truth

We have been using a DVD at work called an Inconvenient Truth. It is a presentation by Al Gore (ex American Vice President) about global warming. We have based a number of sessions around the issues raised. I would recommend watching, (there is a fair bit of American sugar and slop) but it has a good message (and a bit scary). Al Gore comes across as a good man (he was almost the president instead of George W. Bush!)

There is also the web site well worth a visit.

Turn of those water taps, televisions and lights!!!

A Christmas picture

Here is a picture of our Christmas Cake.

I think Joseph is saying to Mary "I hope that knife is for the turkey"

Highlights of my Christmas day

Playing my last Carol (Unto us a child is born). I reckon that I have played about 400 carols this December.



Matthew, Grandad, Nana and a Whoopy Cushion



Dozing off while the Queens speech is on, and Heather reminding my that the settee I was sitting on reclined.



Beating somebody at Internet Checkers



Christmas lunch at my mum and dads, I had a roast potato shaped like a bottom (see below).

Ouststanding!