Thursday, September 21, 2006

Guidance for Annual Appeal 1

I have changed the title of this blog to Annual Appeal since I found out that I am stupid.

September is always a busy month as us Sallys find ourselves raising money for the "Annual Salvation Army Appeal". If you are not a Sally then this will not make any sense, but if you are, here is some guidance.

Do and Do nots


  1. Smile and say "Thank you very much, Good night" even if you do not get any money.

  2. Wonder why so many families are called "Friedland"

  3. Knock on the door and ring the bell.

  4. Always ignore stickers on the door that say "We don't buy anything from salesmen"

  5. Be careful when knocking on glass doors (mind you, I have not broken one yet)

  6. Try and beat the Littlewoods Pools or the milk man when he is on the same "round".

  7. When collecting with a partner on the same side of the road, try and make sure that they get to the house with a) the person cleaning the car b) the gang of lads smoking at the front door c) the house with the Fiesta rather than the BMW or Mercedes.

  8. If collecting in a uniform always smile politely when mistaken for a policeman.

  9. If they drop their money, always let them pick it up.

  10. Address the man of the house as "Sir", if he is wearing a shirt and tie.
Do not

  1. Leave the gate open or kick the milk bottles if your request for money is denied.

  2. Leave the house by one garden gate go to the next garden gate and end up back at the same house (did that yesterday).

  3. Get stuck miles from the car when it starts to throw it down with rain (did that on Tuesday).

  4. Run away from the house cheering or doing "high fives" when you get given twenty quid.

  5. Get caught picking you nose when the house holder answers the door.

  6. Fall into garden pond.

  7. Try to keep a count of how much you have so far.

  8. Walk across a prize lawn.

  9. Scale a garden wall to get to the next house

  10. Don't say "Cheers!" when you leave.
The best house

  1. Christian literature in the hallway.

  2. Doors answered by older people.
The worst house

  1. Knock on the door, a light comes on, nobody comes to the door

  2. The householder watches you come up the drive whilst they are watching television and refuses to open the door.

  3. Houses with dogs (no matter the size).

  4. When the children answer the door.

  5. When you have to do those intercom things at the gate before you get to the front door.

  6. No lights on at all in the house.

  7. The house when the man answers the door with no trousers on (happened yesterday).

  8. When the occupier says they can't give because they are eating their dinner. Usually we have come straight from work and missed dinner.

Worst response

  1. Sorry the is nobody in

  2. Sorry my wife is out

  3. My Dad said there is nobody in

  4. Do the Salvation Army save fallen women? Save one for me (Always laugh politely)

  5. If someone asks you to sing a song for a donation, make sure you know the amount before starting to "Shall We Gather" (Gill)
Games to play

  1. Guess the age of the house holder, based on the type of car, type of house, number of small toys lying around the garden.

  2. Chasing your partner collector down the street when he does not wait long enough for people to answer the doors.

  3. Don't walk in the cracks in the pavement.

  4. Create a blog entry whilst collecting.

  5. Wonder how much time some people must have by the extraordinary tidiness of their garden.

  6. Admire double glazing.

  7. Watch bits of Eastenders, The Bill, Emmerdale as you go round.

  8. Guess what people are having for dinner.

  9. Guess what the appeal is going to be called next year (Self Denial, Red Sheild, Annual Appeal)

I plan on creating an exhaustive list above if you have any additions please let me know and I will update.


Dan Elson said...

I tell you what - I pray. I pray like a beast.

not because I'm praying for the people the money will help, or for the people on the other side of teh door or anything.

I'm praying "Please God don't let there be a dog on the other side of this door"

I am petrified of dogs, and that's pretty much all I do. that and sing marches to myself all the way round.

So now I look like a wuss and a bando - go team Dan *reaches up for a high five*

Will said...

I'm liking this blog. Is this the makings of a Salvationist article?

I'm a bit jealous actually - sounds like your collecting is much more eventful than mine!