As I have been on holiday I have been painting Matthews bedroom. Which of course means that his existing furniture looks tatty as soon as it is moved. We decided to help him improve his toy storage system which seems to be covering every bit of space on the floor.
I went to Ikea with the full intention of enjoying the experience. In fact we had tea there and it was quite pleasant although they seemed to have turned the air conditioning to create Arctic conditions presumably to encourage customers to eat up and go and spend money on worthless/useless tat.
Working through Ikea with Heather reminds me of my favourite scene in Bugs live trailer.
Insect one "Don't look at the light"
Insect two (heading towards blue insectocutor light) "I can't help it, it's soooo beautiful"
I took a firm hand last night. She had to hold my hand or the trolly I was pushing. It was a close call when we walked through the smelly expensive candle section, but she stayed away from the blue light.
We picked our furniture and went to collect it from the "warehouse". They have obviously spend a fortune on computer equipment which tracks where each frame and shelve are. Only to be let down by staff who seem to put the stock wherever they want to. We spent a good twenty minutes looking for something called a Trofast which turned out to be with the chairs or Hedvka (as they say in Ikealand).
Yet again I found my temper fraying.
Showing posts with label Ikea. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ikea. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Monday, March 10, 2008
Getting around Ikea
On Saturday we went to Warrington Ikea. So I have devised the following rules for getting around.
Rule 1. Go around with friends. Make sure you take friends with you to Ikea, You can then focus on taking the mickey out of Ikea with friends rather than just Heather (Because she has heard all of your jokes, although she still laughs politely).
Rule 2. Don't even try to use the shortcuts (the store have installed "men short cuts" which bypass part of the store.) You will get to the end of the store and realise you haven't been to all parts. So you will need to back track and find the bits you have missed.
Rule 3. My friend at work tells me that you need to look out for women in the car park crying. Apparently there are lots, they are crying because they have had a row about what they haven't bought or because they can't get what they have bought into the car.
Rule 4. Always walk slightly ahead of the group you are with. It adds an element of urgency to the expedition.
Rule 5. Never let your guard down. Even towards the end of the store, when you get to the check out, there are items which seem you can't live without. But when you get them home, you will a) wonder what they are for b) Have already bought six and forgotten about c) They will have broken before you get them into the house from the car.
Rule 6. Don't go with kids. You will never get them out of kids bedrooms.
Rule 7. Go just before lunch, so you can spend most of your time in the cafe.
Thanks to Glyn and Jeanette for the inspiration and for the good time on Saturday
Rule 1. Go around with friends. Make sure you take friends with you to Ikea, You can then focus on taking the mickey out of Ikea with friends rather than just Heather (Because she has heard all of your jokes, although she still laughs politely).
Rule 2. Don't even try to use the shortcuts (the store have installed "men short cuts" which bypass part of the store.) You will get to the end of the store and realise you haven't been to all parts. So you will need to back track and find the bits you have missed.
Rule 3. My friend at work tells me that you need to look out for women in the car park crying. Apparently there are lots, they are crying because they have had a row about what they haven't bought or because they can't get what they have bought into the car.
Rule 4. Always walk slightly ahead of the group you are with. It adds an element of urgency to the expedition.
Rule 5. Never let your guard down. Even towards the end of the store, when you get to the check out, there are items which seem you can't live without. But when you get them home, you will a) wonder what they are for b) Have already bought six and forgotten about c) They will have broken before you get them into the house from the car.
Rule 6. Don't go with kids. You will never get them out of kids bedrooms.
Rule 7. Go just before lunch, so you can spend most of your time in the cafe.
Thanks to Glyn and Jeanette for the inspiration and for the good time on Saturday
Monday, September 03, 2007
Why I dislike IKEA
Before I post about my holiday in France I feel I need to post about my mild dislike of IKEA. Whilst I recognise the effect that IKEA has had on the chintz in peoples homes in this country it is possible to idly dislike the store for the following reasons.
1. Inside the store is too hot
2. There are two types of trolleys. One type has a bar across the front which you push and it can go in any direction but sometimes bangs your feet. The other type has handles either side, can go in any direction, can badly damage ankles and can go in any direction.
3. You are expected to express an opinion on something that you have no knowledge of at all. I was asked to pick out some curtain poles. But they all seemed to be able to do the job quite adequately. (I can't comment on them aesthetically, I suppose one or two would not have been out of place in Frankensteins castle and I recognised another couple from the original series of Star Trek)
4. I don't like the fact that when you leave the store (with three trolleys full of stuff which you cannot do without, even though you only went in to buy light bulbs (that you can't by anywhere else)), you feel the need to buy a piece of plastic called "BOVT" which cost 49p, specially designed to catch candle wax from getting onto your dining room table or for storing aforementioned light bulbs.
5. I noticed that they had a chair on test which they had a mechanical bum sitting on it for up to now 150,000 times. It doesn't seem to be the original chair that was installed when the store was built. What happened to it? Did it break? I wanted to see that happen.
6. We spent some considerable time looking for hooks for kitchen towels, we found some hooks for bathroom towels and other kitchen equipment but not for kitchen towels.
7. A good thing now is you can take your purchased goods over the car park to the car without having to jockey for position near the entrance. The cement bollards would not allow you to take the trolleys away from the store. It must have taken IKEA ages to work out that trolley thieves (and there must be many) will not steal trolleys which are designed to maim (see point 2)
1. Inside the store is too hot
2. There are two types of trolleys. One type has a bar across the front which you push and it can go in any direction but sometimes bangs your feet. The other type has handles either side, can go in any direction, can badly damage ankles and can go in any direction.
3. You are expected to express an opinion on something that you have no knowledge of at all. I was asked to pick out some curtain poles. But they all seemed to be able to do the job quite adequately. (I can't comment on them aesthetically, I suppose one or two would not have been out of place in Frankensteins castle and I recognised another couple from the original series of Star Trek)
4. I don't like the fact that when you leave the store (with three trolleys full of stuff which you cannot do without, even though you only went in to buy light bulbs (that you can't by anywhere else)), you feel the need to buy a piece of plastic called "BOVT" which cost 49p, specially designed to catch candle wax from getting onto your dining room table or for storing aforementioned light bulbs.
5. I noticed that they had a chair on test which they had a mechanical bum sitting on it for up to now 150,000 times. It doesn't seem to be the original chair that was installed when the store was built. What happened to it? Did it break? I wanted to see that happen.
6. We spent some considerable time looking for hooks for kitchen towels, we found some hooks for bathroom towels and other kitchen equipment but not for kitchen towels.
7. A good thing now is you can take your purchased goods over the car park to the car without having to jockey for position near the entrance. The cement bollards would not allow you to take the trolleys away from the store. It must have taken IKEA ages to work out that trolley thieves (and there must be many) will not steal trolleys which are designed to maim (see point 2)
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